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Latest iPhone commercial: If it’s not Apple Pay, it’s not Apple Pay

Cupertino’s marketing department insists with the absurd advertising slogan, this time to build buzz around its mobile payment service just as Samsung prepares a counter-offensive.

iPhone commercial

If it’s not an iPhone, it’s not an iPhone. What’s that supposed to mean again? Is it like saying all or nothing, and trying to float the idea iPhones are better just because? Probably, yes, which is clearly wrong on so many levels.

Of course, Apple backs the labyrinthine, questionable statement with an even more dubious lecture on the conjunction of hardware and software built by the same engineers, an obviously false percentage concerning iPhone customer satisfaction, and… something about Apple Pay.

Specifically, how Apple Pay “lets you shop in a faster, simpler way.” Yes, the rhyming is intentional and it actually goes on. You can apparently use the feature for “groceries and kicks, toys and your lunchtime fix.” What is this, a fourth grade Dr. Seuss imitation contest?

If it were, these following “lyrics” would probably be enough to score their author a big, fat… consolation prize: “It’s safer than a credit card, and keeps your info yours/, and you can already use it in over one million stores.” Yeesh, that’s bad!

Ironically, Apple Pay is in fact proof Tim Cook’s cash cow still beats Samsung when it comes to early adoption of certain futuristic technologies. The Touch ID-enabled service currently works with both the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, as well as the iPad Air 2 and iPad mini 3, plus the iPhone 5 and 5s via the Apple Watch.

Samsung Pay? It’s not technically released yet, and will likely only support the Galaxy S6 Edge+ and Note 5 at first. Why not just say that, Apple?

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